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Comparison

Jun 09, 2024

Dear Friends,

Before I quit drinking I used to spend a fair amount of time wondering how others managed to have it all together while I was struggling. 

 

Here's how it would go;

How do they do it? How are they coping with life so well? How do they manage it all? What is their secret? 

 

I had no answers, but the underlying belief was that they were doing it better, coping with it more easily, and managing life and all it's challenges with far more ease than me.

Despite outward appearences I believed I was failing, not doing life 'well', which at the root translates as 'there is something wrong with me'.

Since quitting drinking almost everyone I've ever spoken to from a place of honesty and vulnerability (a wonderful by-product of removing the poison) shares this belief, deep down.

That they are different, that there's something fundamentally wrong with them, and that they are alone.

 

Alcohol is a way of coping with this. It's soothing, it quitens the mind and provides moments where the inner comparison critic shuts up for a while. 

But we pay for that short-term relief. The critic is fuelled by the drink, and the drink creates more separation, loneliness, and self  judgment.

I'm not a traditionally religious person but there is certainly wisdom to be found in ancient scripture, and the ambiguity of such quotes allows plenty of room for interpretation ;)

"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32, KJV)

 

The Truth

Almost everyone I've worked with to support them to quit alcohol believed there was something wrong with them & that they were different from everyone else.

Alcohol kept them separated and stuck in the cycle of self critisism, self-doubt, and comparison.

When the alcohol is removed in a supportive environment this belief is examined, normalised, and released.

What's left is relief and space to be kinder to themselves. And with compassion, stress and anxiety are reduced, and the need to drink gradually fades away. 

 

No one is coping all the time, no one has it 'all together' and many more people than you think are struggling with alcohol. 

And that is the truth, so maybe this truth can at least start to loosen the chains, if not entirely set you free.

 

"Comparison is the thief of joy"

Theodore Roosevelt

 

TRY THIS

If you believed you were no different from anyone else, no more damaged or flawed, if you believed you were good enough exactly as you are how would your day be different?

What would you let go of? 

How would you feel?

How would you speak to yourself?

Would there be a tiny bit more space for you to relax into life?

Maybe you can try this just for one day, as an experiment?

 

I'd love to hear how it goes,

 

Love

Sarah

 

 

Feeling stuck?

 Let me send you my free PDF. It will help you to get ready to begin an alcohol-free journey.

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