The Trigger Recipe
Mar 12, 2025
Managing Triggers: Reacting vs. Responding
Ever been triggered? I know I have, and if I’m overwhelmed or I’m 'HALT' (hungry, angry, lonely tired) it doesn’t take much to poke the bear. In the past, I’d drink, on auto-pilot. If I felt triggered (and note, it is a feeling) I regularly used alcohol to soothe the discomfort.
This piece is about what happens when we’re triggered, and how we can learn to recognise, and skillfully navigate the inevitable moments when we so desperately want to escape from, numb or amplify our feelings.
When we’re unconscious of our triggers and ruled by them, we become activated, meaning we leave the present and react in habitual ways, usually based on our past experiences. Recognizing this is crucial because our reactions often stem from deep-seated conditioning, learned behaviours, and habits.
If we’re unaware of this process, we repeat patterns that we would not choose, if we felt we had a choice. Ever had a drink when you promised yourself you wouldn't?
When we learn to manage our triggers, we create the opportunity for us to make a conscious choice of how we want to respond in the here and now, instead of reverting to auto-pilot, and we can choose to respond in a way that moves us forward rather than holding us back.
The interesting thing to note is that when we react, rather than respond, regret usually follows.
Understanding Our Triggers
Triggers are personal. They can stem from our past experiences, long-held beliefs, or societal conditioning. In the case of alcohol, it’s likely that all three apply. Think of how many times you’ve picked up a drink because it’s ‘what you’ve always done’ when you’re upset, or how often you tell yourself ‘I can stop at one’. Add the huge impact of the social normalising of drinking then it’s a triple whammy.
The challenge is learning how to handle our triggers in a way that leads to growth and change, rather than staying in destructive cycles.
The Trigger Recipe
There is a pattern—I call it a “recipe”—that happens when we are triggered. Understanding this recipe means we can step in and take control before we react automatically.
The key to breaking the cycle is to become aware of this recipe and then change the ingredients.
The Five-Step Recipe to Overcoming Triggers
If you’re serious about changing your drinking habits, or any other bad habit actually, you need to choose new ingredients for your trigger recipe.
The first step is identifying your main triggers. They will fall into these categories:
Once you’ve identified a common trigger you write out the recipe you usually follow. Here’s an example of one of mine.
Step One – Identify The Trigger
- Environmental – Airport Lounge with bar
Step Two – Identify The Emotion
- Excited and celebratory ( and possibly a bit anxious)
Step Three – Identify Need to Be Met
- Variety and boredom relief ( something to do while waiting)
Step Four – Get Clear on The Story
- I’m going away, I deserve a treat, it’s my time to relax and unwind ( and it’s free!)
Step Five – Take Action
- Head to the bar and guzzle champagne.
Once you have your recipe you rewrite it with new ingredients. Note that you can simply try and avoid the trigger, but if you can’t you must change the ingredients for steps four and five.
Taking my example from above, I can’t avoid the trigger so I changed steps four and five.
Step Four – The Story
I’m excited and I deserve to enjoy being fully present for my trip. I don’t want to feel like crap when I land, and if I start now, I’ll keep drinking and feel disgusting.
Step Five – The Action
I will go to the bar and order a non-alcoholic drink, grab some snacks, and eat and drink mindfully, enjoying the experience and feeling great about myself.
You can use this recipe for any trigger in your life, ingredients 1 to 3 may not be possible to change, but ingredients 4 and 5 always are, and the outcome tastes much better than regret and disappointment.
Transforming Our Response
By identifying our triggers and the needs behind them, we can begin to consciously choose a different response, instead of reacting with past habits.
In The Moment – Dealing with Triggers
If an unanticipated trigger arises and you haven’t pre-planned your response here are some steps you can take.
- Diffuse the Trigger: Recognise and accept the feeling and take a deep breath.
- Accept the Emotion: Understand that emotions are signals, not threats.
- Play the Tape Forward: Visualize the consequences of reacting
- Choose a Value-Driven Action: Decide on a response that aligns with your goals and well-being.
Awareness is the first step.
The ultimate goal is to move from being unconsciously reactive to consciously competent in handling our triggers. This requires practice, patience, and self-compassion.
By consistently applying these strategies, we can gradually rewire our brains and prune away the destructive patterns. Over time, we develop a new default response—one that kicks in without too much effort (the same way the picking up a drink habit used to kick in)
You have the power to take control of your story and your actions. You are not a victim of your triggers; you are the creator of your response.
Final Thought:
Your mind is your greatest asset and one that is repeatedly damaged by alcohol consumption.
By changing your ingredients in the trigger recipes you will be prioritising your mental health and well-being, and the result? A much more appetising and delicious life.
Love
Sarah
