A Christmas To Remember

My First Alcohol-Free Christmas 

 My first Christmas without champagne, daiquiris, and copious amounts of white wine was in 2019. It was the annual family gathering I used to love. Early morning daiquiris, champagne before midday, and the classic Aussie seafood lunch—prawns and oysters slipping down with gulps of crisp dry wine. 

 I was dreading it. 

 In the lead-up, I kept myself busy, frantically buying gifts in bouts of online shopping. Daily mysterious packages arriving at my door kept my dopamine levels high. Just one more. 

 But I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d possibly enjoy our time in Sydney without the one thing I used to look forward to most. There it was—the brutal truth: Could the thing I enjoyed the most about Christmas be the alcohol?

 When I was drinking, I never examined this reality. The event and the alcohol were fused together in my mind, ingredients in a time-tested recipe that delivered everything I thought I was looking for. 

 Without that key ingredient, I assumed the recipe wouldn’t work. It would look, taste, and feel different, and be far less enjoyable —like most things changed by the word "free." Sugar-free, caffeine-free, gluten-free… alcohol-free. 

 I was acutely aware of my lack of excitement that year. The neural pathways connecting Christmas with delicious escapism, carefree dancing, and long, wine-fuelled conversations with family had nowhere to go. When they fired up in my brain and excitement began to rise, they were met with a “WRONG WAY” sign, but no clear detour. 

 This might sound familiar if you’re heading into your first alcohol-free Christmas. It’s disconcerting, even frightening, but it’s completely normal. 

 And I can’t tell you I had the best time that year. But that’s only because I hadn’t yet identified the new route. I had no reference point, no map for this uncharted territory, and no idea what I could add to replace the missing ingredient. 

 When we step into new territory, it’s up to us to find and carve out a pathway that feels enticing. The first time we try this, it can be clumsy, disorienting, and even disillusioning. When what used to bring us to the peak of the experience is no longer on the table, it’s natural to feel moments of disappointment, frustration, and craving for the “old ways.” But we can also look at it in this way. Do we want to keep going down the same old path, knowing exactly where it will end? Or can we be creative, adventurous, and curious about new possibilities and destinations?  

 Fast-forward to today: I’m heading into my sixth alcohol-free Christmas, and I feel a different kind of excitement. It sits far deeper in my body, independent from any external substance. It’s not overshadowed by the dread of knowing that come January, I’ll feel like absolute shit. There’s no regret to bury in my subconscious anymore. 

I’ve found a better recipe with a more powerful ingredient, a pathway that leads to long-term happiness: presence.

 It’s the thrill of being truly present with myself, my family, and my friends that fires up my neurons now. 

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